It might not be apparent here but I have been on major burnout lately. I went through a tough period of completely losing my focus and came through that fighting out of the ring. But the burnout stuck around. B finally noticed what was going on and strongly suggested I take a break. He validated me by making me aware of the fact I've been homeschooling for going on four years now, starting when J first started all his speech stuff. I worked through the summer in California last year, subscribing to the feeling I needed to make up for what we had missed. Well no more! I am on a BREAK. And this only my second week. Break, in this instance, means ABSOLUTELY NO SCHOOL. Yay! And the fun thing is... the kids seem to be learning just as much or more without it ; ) .
Last week we went to the park three times, got together for three playdates, the pool twice, a one hour walk once, and made cookies. This week so far we've gotten together for playdates three times, had friends over at our house for the first time (with kids)!!!, checked out an organic farm in South Austin where we fed chickens carrot tops and picked strawberries, attended an orientation for chess club for J that we'll start next week, stayed in our pajamas all day once, and made peanut butter cookies once. I feel like a Mom again and that I have a relationship with my kids again!!! I am LOVIN' it.
Not to mention all the bubble baths I've taken. I have to clarify, I hate bubble baths. Well I did. Until I started taking this break. The second day I was taking a shower and just had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to sink down into the tub, it was a feeling of utter exhaustion and giving up. I finished my shower, started the bath and bubbles, got my bath pillow and a stack of washcloths so I can dry whatever needed to touch things that couldn't get wet, lit my candles, grabbed my magazine and sunk in. When I was done I felt renewed and refreshed, like everything had been washed away. Every time I've gotten that feeling of wanting to sink in since I've done it. And I absolutely LOVE it. I've been able to catch up reading my magazines, do my Bible study - although that one I won't do in there again it was too uncomfortable to write, and pretty soon I'll have to start on books since I'm almost done with my magazines. I only have two that I read each month, but I have to read them cover to cover before I consider myself done. I've been LOVIN' it.
My anger... has been so nil it hasn't even been funny. The boys, who wrestle all day every day, when it gets too much for me instead of fighting the battle of trying to get them to go take quiet time on their beds I just turn up my Ipod, stick it in my ears, and take my quiet time away. The recipe J made to make cookies that he taped to a kitchen cabinet we've made twice. That was one of those things I used to do when they were littler, always want to do now but after everything else don't have the energy for. Now I do. Playdates were another thing that always went on the back burner. Now they're on the front burner. The kids get to know their friends and feel like they have friends and the fun thing about playdates so far, is that they're not just fun for the kids, the Mom and I get to have a good time talking too!
J is going to that school we'd talkeda bout twice a week next year for four hours each and I can't wait to have the time with S to just be and discover who he is. I hope I will take moments like these to enjoy being with him. I'm so glad my husband had the wisdom to perceive that, and to present it in a way that I feel like I've done enough to actually deserve a break cuz this break has been the BEST thing for me.