Friday, February 25, 2005

Not Supposed To

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The boys got into the donuts my Dad brought last night. All five of them. Between the two of them. And Little Guy outs them first thing when he comes downstairs. "We got into the chocolate, because we're not supposed to get into the chocolate, so we got into the chocolate."

Not Supposed To

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The boys got into the donuts my Dad brought last night. All five of them. Between the two of them. And Little Guy outs them first thing when he comes downstairs. "We got into the chocolate, because we're not supposed to get into the chocolate, so we got into the chocolate."

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Okay I'm Outed

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I have another blog (I just created it last night ya'll so SHUSH) called Quiet Dreams and Passing Nightmares. I wasn't sure if I was going to mention it here, but my computer doesn't really care who I am so it outted me as Quietly Dreaming over on Cecilia's blog. I needed a place where I could yak as much as I want without anybody having to acknowledge my every 'um'. You can always find me here or email me if you really want to say something, but in keeping with the 'quiet' I have turned off comments over there. I did delete my comments on Cecilia's site though and need to go repost them as meself. I'm still going to be posting the stuff here that I really want to put out there, not all the other strange and rarely coinciding million and one thoughts that run through my head every day. And I won't be mentioning this site over there. I know you guys care a lot, so I'm really just sharing it with you - and anybody else who randomly happens along.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Happy President's Day

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Makes for a very nice long weekend. We got home from Walnut Creek on Saturday after Hubby finished his test and after getting nice and "relaxed" Friday night. We were supposed to drive up on Saturday to Visalia so I could go to go to my cousin's bridal shower but after the long week decided we were all too stressed out. So we came home and had a family weekend. My parent's took us out to dinner - twice. We went to the Boardwalk with the kids, watched a few Star Trek movies, and visited with Hubby's cousin.

Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk

Hubby worked on taxes a bit. Which reminds me he wants me to do them with him. Ick. I hate taxes, or anything to have to do with keeping track of money on paper really. Now Hubby's watching his favorite show MIL recorded for him last night, I'm catching up on blog reading, and tomorrow it's back to the work week.

Happy President's Day

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Makes for a very nice long weekend. We got home from Walnut Creek on Saturday after Hubby finished his test and after getting nice and "relaxed" Friday night. We were supposed to drive up on Saturday to Visalia so I could go to go to my cousin's bridal shower but after the long week decided we were all too stressed out. So we came home and had a family weekend. My parent's took us out to dinner - twice. We went to the Boardwalk with the kids, watched a few Star Trek movies, and visited with Hubby's cousin.

Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk

Hubby worked on taxes a bit. Which reminds me he wants me to do them with him. Ick. I hate taxes, or anything to have to do with keeping track of money on paper really. Now Hubby's watching his favorite show MIL recorded for him last night, I'm catching up on blog reading, and tomorrow it's back to the work week.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Ever Feel Like You're Being Sucked into a Hole?

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My most embarrasing moment just happened.

Carrying a stroller with a sleeping baby in it, 3 bags of laundry stuffed in the back and a 5 year old tagging along down a flight of stairs with at least 15-20 people coming up it and having half the laundry fall out, underwear, at least one of every single one of ours, bra, and all. With a "SHIT." and the help of a kind lady and gentleman I picked them up and put them back in the bag and continued on my way.

I.need.a.break. From 3 year old constant questions, from 5 year old tattling, from not communicating with a spouse, from constant having to DO for others without anybody thinking of what I AM constantly doing.

Ever Feel Like You're Being Sucked into a Hole?

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My most embarrasing moment just happened.

Carrying a stroller with a sleeping baby in it, 3 bags of laundry stuffed in the back and a 5 year old tagging along down a flight of stairs with at least 15-20 people coming up it and having half the laundry fall out, underwear, at least one of every single one of ours, bra, and all. With a "SHIT." and the help of a kind lady and gentleman I picked them up and put them back in the bag and continued on my way.

I.need.a.break. From 3 year old constant questions, from 5 year old tattling, from not communicating with a spouse, from constant having to DO for others without anybody thinking of what I AM constantly doing.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Out and About in the WC

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Isn't it funny how you never think of calling a town by it's initials until you're in it for awhile? The family and I are in Walnut Creek for the latter part of this week. Hubby has a class he had to attend here for these last 4 days and the kids and I thought it would be fun to tag along. We were right. Amidst the hotel living, the $74 trip to Whole Foods so we could eat healthy while on vacation, the icing the milk in the sink before cereal in the morning for lack of a refrigerator, it's been great discovering a new town. Basking in the strangeness and the allure of a brand new almost completely two story downotown with Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Tiffany & Co., and Starbucks galore in the Broadway Plaza, I had no idea Walnut Creek was this large - I always thought it was a tiny extension of San Jose. Little did I know. It's not.

And we are right downtown, closest to the best of the best. We've been to the Civic Park, Big Guy loved the choo-choo train and the wooden outdoor gym. He checked out all the signs instructing you what to do on each and did them all. I enjoyed sitting in the little caboose and working on my art book while Little Guy snoozed the afternoon away in the car.

Today we went by the Lindsay Wildlife Museum, where they have captive animals that have been injured and wouldn't be safe in the wild. It was amazing to see a bald eagle, owls, ravens, opposums, all up close and personal in glass living areas where you could get literally nose to nose with them. The kids did a treasure hunt to do where they found each animal on their piece of paper and turned it in for a card with a cheesy joke on it. Funny how kids love those things.

After a picnic in the park we stopped by Office Max to pick up some paints for the boys and markers for me. Little Guy fell asleep on the way home and we brought him up to the hotel room in the stroller and let him sleep peacefully while Big Guy painted his heart out and I sat near and drew. When Little Guy woke up he picked up on the painting where Big Guy left off and by the time Hubby got up here they had created a floor full of artwork.

Winding down the evening with a little Apprentice and ER I'm off to crawl into bed and chat with Hubby for a few.

Out and About in the WC

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Isn't it funny how you never think of calling a town by it's initials until you're in it for awhile? The family and I are in Walnut Creek for the latter part of this week. Hubby has a class he had to attend here for these last 4 days and the kids and I thought it would be fun to tag along. We were right. Amidst the hotel living, the $74 trip to Whole Foods so we could eat healthy while on vacation, the icing the milk in the sink before cereal in the morning for lack of a refrigerator, it's been great discovering a new town. Basking in the strangeness and the allure of a brand new almost completely two story downotown with Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Tiffany & Co., and Starbucks galore in the Broadway Plaza, I had no idea Walnut Creek was this large - I always thought it was a tiny extension of San Jose. Little did I know. It's not.

And we are right downtown, closest to the best of the best. We've been to the Civic Park, Big Guy loved the choo-choo train and the wooden outdoor gym. He checked out all the signs instructing you what to do on each and did them all. I enjoyed sitting in the little caboose and working on my art book while Little Guy snoozed the afternoon away in the car.

Today we went by the Lindsay Wildlife Museum, where they have captive animals that have been injured and wouldn't be safe in the wild. It was amazing to see a bald eagle, owls, ravens, opposums, all up close and personal in glass living areas where you could get literally nose to nose with them. The kids did a treasure hunt to do where they found each animal on their piece of paper and turned it in for a card with a cheesy joke on it. Funny how kids love those things.

After a picnic in the park we stopped by Office Max to pick up some paints for the boys and markers for me. Little Guy fell asleep on the way home and we brought him up to the hotel room in the stroller and let him sleep peacefully while Big Guy painted his heart out and I sat near and drew. When Little Guy woke up he picked up on the painting where Big Guy left off and by the time Hubby got up here they had created a floor full of artwork.

Winding down the evening with a little Apprentice and ER I'm off to crawl into bed and chat with Hubby for a few.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

A Dream Come True

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A really really great Valentine's Day with hardly a penny spent. Pretty impossible most days. But not yesterday. Not this Valentine's Day. So little money spent and with the knowledge in mind that we weren't deep in debt for a present Hubby just had to get me I actually got him something this year, The Treehouse Book. He has wanted to build a treehouse for the boys forever and found this book the other day and spent half an hour reading it so when I went by to get up our picnic I picked it up. He loves it.

The whole day started with me in a pretty bright pink and red flowered skirt with a hot pink top and my knee-high black boots - feeling very pretty and nice and warm. The boys and I ran a bunch of errands, a gift for my cousin's bridal shower, a gift for a nephew's birthday, some drawing pens, and a picnic for Hubby and I - delicious Grilled Tri-tip Sandwhich with BBQ Sauce for him and a Meditterranean Chicken sandwhich for me. Green Bean Herb Salad, Fruit Salad, and BBQ Chips, and a bottle of Chianti.

We dropped the kids off with Grandma that evening and packed the car with candles, a comforter, and our picnic. Drove down to Westcliff and parked on the cliff. Yes, a night very reminiscent of teenage days, but all grown up and romantic in the fact that we weren't actually going there there for that purpose. We set up our candles on the floor (is that legal?) and spread the comforter over the laid down backseat, served the picnic, and opened the back windows to hear the ocean breeze and the waves crashing on the rocks.

After a very delicious meal and water in wine glasses after we realized it probably wouldn't be the best idea to have an open wine bottle in a vehicle parked right off the road, we laid down in each other's arms and had one of the most indepth conversations we'd had in a long time.

That didn't last for too long because Hubby of course still wanted to do all that teenagery stuff, might as well get it in. After making sure he kept his pants on just a little a cop drives by with his searchlight aimed right at us. Sucking in a deep breath and making sure everything was back on as he drove by. Talk about ruining the mood! For me, at least. Well Hubby still wanted to, so my heart racing the whole time we did. This teenager thing is NOT for me anymore! What were we ever thinking? Oh yeah, that.

After our wonderful evening on the cliff we drove downtown and grabbed a seat at Borders with our favorite books to sit and relax before Hitch started. Which for those of you who have been wondering was EXCELLENT. Now on my top 3 list, along with Sabrina my all-time favorite, Shall We Dance.

The best part (besides the whole movie) was walking out of the theatre and seeing couple after couple after couple walking by, holding hands and being sweet. In fact the whole night there was nothing but couples on the street, besides the occasional guy sitting at Borders studying or the group of girls out on the town.

It was a wonderful night and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Not for the hundred-fifty dollar dinner we had reserved at Peachwood's, not for diamond earrings, not for a night out on the town. It was a wonderful romantic quiet evening, just us, romance, and the ocean.

A Dream Come True

1 Comments
A really really great Valentine's Day with hardly a penny spent. Pretty impossible most days. But not yesterday. Not this Valentine's Day. So little money spent and with the knowledge in mind that we weren't deep in debt for a present Hubby just had to get me I actually got him something this year, The Treehouse Book. He has wanted to build a treehouse for the boys forever and found this book the other day and spent half an hour reading it so when I went by to get up our picnic I picked it up. He loves it.

The whole day started with me in a pretty bright pink and red flowered skirt with a hot pink top and my knee-high black boots - feeling very pretty and nice and warm. The boys and I ran a bunch of errands, a gift for my cousin's bridal shower, a gift for a nephew's birthday, some drawing pens, and a picnic for Hubby and I - delicious Grilled Tri-tip Sandwhich with BBQ Sauce for him and a Meditterranean Chicken sandwhich for me. Green Bean Herb Salad, Fruit Salad, and BBQ Chips, and a bottle of Chianti.

We dropped the kids off with Grandma that evening and packed the car with candles, a comforter, and our picnic. Drove down to Westcliff and parked on the cliff. Yes, a night very reminiscent of teenage days, but all grown up and romantic in the fact that we weren't actually going there there for that purpose. We set up our candles on the floor (is that legal?) and spread the comforter over the laid down backseat, served the picnic, and opened the back windows to hear the ocean breeze and the waves crashing on the rocks.

After a very delicious meal and water in wine glasses after we realized it probably wouldn't be the best idea to have an open wine bottle in a vehicle parked right off the road, we laid down in each other's arms and had one of the most indepth conversations we'd had in a long time.

That didn't last for too long because Hubby of course still wanted to do all that teenagery stuff, might as well get it in. After making sure he kept his pants on just a little a cop drives by with his searchlight aimed right at us. Sucking in a deep breath and making sure everything was back on as he drove by. Talk about ruining the mood! For me, at least. Well Hubby still wanted to, so my heart racing the whole time we did. This teenager thing is NOT for me anymore! What were we ever thinking? Oh yeah, that.

After our wonderful evening on the cliff we drove downtown and grabbed a seat at Borders with our favorite books to sit and relax before Hitch started. Which for those of you who have been wondering was EXCELLENT. Now on my top 3 list, along with Sabrina my all-time favorite, Shall We Dance.

The best part (besides the whole movie) was walking out of the theatre and seeing couple after couple after couple walking by, holding hands and being sweet. In fact the whole night there was nothing but couples on the street, besides the occasional guy sitting at Borders studying or the group of girls out on the town.

It was a wonderful night and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Not for the hundred-fifty dollar dinner we had reserved at Peachwood's, not for diamond earrings, not for a night out on the town. It was a wonderful romantic quiet evening, just us, romance, and the ocean.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Hubby and I are going to go on a picnic this evening. Where, I don't know. May be in the back of the car as it's overcast and gloomy right now, but that's romantic in it's own teenage time right : ) . We've got tickets to go see Hitch at 9:45pm. Been wanting to see that. Should be a pretty calm night.

Hubby is going to classes for his business this week. The boys and I may go with him as he's got a hotel room for 4 nights any way. Get a chance to see a different city - one I've never been to. Seems to have some good downtown shopping and a park which is plenty entertaining.

Thanks for all the Valentine wishes - to you guys too! I hope you have a serene night full of all the things that mean so much to making you YOU.

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Hubby and I are going to go on a picnic this evening. Where, I don't know. May be in the back of the car as it's overcast and gloomy right now, but that's romantic in it's own teenage time right : ) . We've got tickets to go see Hitch at 9:45pm. Been wanting to see that. Should be a pretty calm night.

Hubby is going to classes for his business this week. The boys and I may go with him as he's got a hotel room for 4 nights any way. Get a chance to see a different city - one I've never been to. Seems to have some good downtown shopping and a park which is plenty entertaining.

Thanks for all the Valentine wishes - to you guys too! I hope you have a serene night full of all the things that mean so much to making you YOU.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Yea for Blogger!

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They finally caught up in the game as far as comments. I'm not sure if I like the whole picture in the comment thing because it can lead to being shallow, but the rest of it is FINALLY. Haloscan? Going to do have to do some major reconfiguring to keep up with this one. 'Cause you know what? That whole deleting the comments thing REALLY sucks and Blogger ain't gonna do it (we hope!). Check out the new fangled comments at Girl's site 'cause they're not on here (yet).

Here's FAQ for the new comments, and an article on it.

Yea for Blogger!

0 Comments
They finally caught up in the game as far as comments. I'm not sure if I like the whole picture in the comment thing because it can lead to being shallow, but the rest of it is FINALLY. Haloscan? Going to do have to do some major reconfiguring to keep up with this one. 'Cause you know what? That whole deleting the comments thing REALLY sucks and Blogger ain't gonna do it (we hope!). Check out the new fangled comments at Girl's site 'cause they're not on here (yet).

Here's FAQ for the new comments, and an article on it.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Ah, Relief

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Amber's warning system for men? Really works. Yesterday I told her I was at orange, over the chocolate, but before the hide sharp objects stage. And today I started. No! Not having to hide sharp objects! The actual "time". Okay got it because I'm not saying period. Oh wait I just did.

I'm It!

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I've been tagged! By Girl. So here you go!

1. Total amount of music files on your computer
:
No idea. I'm guessing somewhere around 200.
2. The last CD you bought was:... Oh my word. So long ago. 4 years. Nickelback for one of his songs. And I ended up hating that song and the whole cd because they all sounded exactly.the.same.
3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
Something from www.air1.com .
4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
Nothing Else Matters, Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony. My Hubby sang it to me when we were dating after I asked him to pick a song for ME. We danced to it at our wedding.
Walk by Faith, Jeremy Camp. It's on the radio a lot.
What if I Stumble, DC Talk. Because I wonder. Not so much in faith, but in my walk of life.
Jesus Loves Me, because I sing it to my boys.
I Can Only Imagine, Mercy Me. It makes me cry every time. And when I saw the music video they just didn't stop flowing.

I'm tagging EVERYBODY! Is that allowed? Okay specifically Sami and Pink Poppy. You're it! Because you're the two I know who haven't been tagged yet and you're most likely to do it : ) . Um, is this the new version of e-mail forwarding? Cuz I don't do that you know.

Ah, Relief

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Amber's warning system for men? Really works. Yesterday I told her I was at orange, over the chocolate, but before the hide sharp objects stage. And today I started. No! Not having to hide sharp objects! The actual "time". Okay got it because I'm not saying period. Oh wait I just did.

I'm It!

0 Comments
I've been tagged! By Girl. So here you go!

1. Total amount of music files on your computer
:
No idea. I'm guessing somewhere around 200.
2. The last CD you bought was:... Oh my word. So long ago. 4 years. Nickelback for one of his songs. And I ended up hating that song and the whole cd because they all sounded exactly.the.same.
3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
Something from www.air1.com .
4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
Nothing Else Matters, Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony. My Hubby sang it to me when we were dating after I asked him to pick a song for ME. We danced to it at our wedding.
Walk by Faith, Jeremy Camp. It's on the radio a lot.
What if I Stumble, DC Talk. Because I wonder. Not so much in faith, but in my walk of life.
Jesus Loves Me, because I sing it to my boys.
I Can Only Imagine, Mercy Me. It makes me cry every time. And when I saw the music video they just didn't stop flowing.

I'm tagging EVERYBODY! Is that allowed? Okay specifically Sami and Pink Poppy. You're it! Because you're the two I know who haven't been tagged yet and you're most likely to do it : ) . Um, is this the new version of e-mail forwarding? Cuz I don't do that you know.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Happy Happy Birthday

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To two of my bestest friends in the whole wide world (cause you're all the bestest in your own ways) - Michelle and Lori. I can't get a hold of either of you and I know you don't read this but maybe one day you will. I love you guys and I hope you are having the best of best birthdays one can have because you deserve it. I only wish I was there to help you celebrate it.

*Poof*

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The reason we came out here just went up in a cloud of smoke. I'm not sure if it was ever anything but smoke. Either way it's gone.

So now we have another decision to make. Once again. It's starting to feel repetitive. What to do with our lives. Hubby knows he likes the field he's in. So I told him to go with it. And I will support him. I just hope he does. No more flip-flopping. Not that he ever did much. He always just hasn't known what he wants to do with his life since getting kicked out of the Navy (medical discharge). Just last week he was talking about how he likes what he's doing now and has all sorts of ideas for the different fields it's capable of. Good. Stick with it. I can support you in that. It strains my mentality to support you in not even knowing what you want. You know what you want. Now go for it.

Happy Happy Birthday

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To two of my bestest friends in the whole wide world (cause you're all the bestest in your own ways) - Michelle and Lori. I can't get a hold of either of you and I know you don't read this but maybe one day you will. I love you guys and I hope you are having the best of best birthdays one can have because you deserve it. I only wish I was there to help you celebrate it.


Crushed

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I hate being here. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I'm being crushed into a person I don't want to be, the person I never was, the person people forced me into being because instead of seeing the good in me. They always always see the bad. Everybody has things they'd rather not be. That doesn't mean you sit there and concentrate on them. They do. Dr. Phil has a definition for these people. It's called the people eater. And I feel like I'm being eaten. And I'm depressed and pissed and want to get the f**k out of here. I want to get back to being me. Some part of me thinks well maybe this is me if this is how I react to this situation. I refuse to believe that it is as much as it feels like it right now. How can ANYthing thrive under these conditions? The truth is they CAN'T. The two siblings I have that chose to stay in this crap are divorced and bitter and hateful and mean. And I've never said that about them but it's the truth. And I don't want to be that way. I feel like I'm shriveling and I can't stand it.

*Poof*

0 Comments
The reason we came out here just went up in a cloud of smoke. I'm not sure if it was ever anything but smoke. Either way it's gone.

So now we have another decision to make. Once again. It's starting to feel repetitive. What to do with our lives. Hubby knows he likes the field he's in. So I told him to go with it. And I will support him. I just hope he does. No more flip-flopping. Not that he ever did much. He always just hasn't known what he wants to do with his life since getting kicked out of the Navy (medical discharge). Just last week he was talking about how he likes what he's doing now and has all sorts of ideas for the different fields it's capable of. Good. Stick with it. I can support you in that. It strains my mentality to support you in not even knowing what you want. You know what you want. Now go for it.

Crushed

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I hate being here. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I'm being crushed into a person I don't want to be, the person I never was, the person people forced me into being because instead of seeing the good in me. They always always see the bad. Everybody has things they'd rather not be. That doesn't mean you sit there and concentrate on them. They do. Dr. Phil has a definition for these people. It's called the people eater. And I feel like I'm being eaten. And I'm depressed and pissed and want to get the f**k out of here. I want to get back to being me. Some part of me thinks well maybe this is me if this is how I react to this situation. I refuse to believe that it is as much as it feels like it right now. How can ANYthing thrive under these conditions? The truth is they CAN'T. The two siblings I have that chose to stay in this crap are divorced and bitter and hateful and mean. And I've never said that about them but it's the truth. And I don't want to be that way. I feel like I'm shriveling and I can't stand it.

Monday, February 07, 2005

You Must Read This

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Catching Sunlight In A Jar



This from one of my favorite reads, Island Girl. The picture is from her post and captures the essence of it completely. Go check it out. And if you haven't discovered her already you'll be glad you did.

You Must Read This

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Catching Sunlight In A Jar



This from one of my favorite reads, Island Girl. The picture is from her post and captures the essence of it completely. Go check it out. And if you haven't discovered her already you'll be glad you did.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

A Step

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We've been living in this house for 4 months now. October, November, December, January. We've had our space. The bottom two rooms are ours, each with their own bathroom, and ours with French doors opening out onto a large patio overlooking the harbor and the sea. My very first goal when I came here was to make it a home in the very sense of the word - comfortable, and relaxing. And I succeeded in the furnishing department. There was one thing I didn't complete. That was the coffee table for the loveseat in the sitting area I created in our bedroom.

We do have a living room upstairs. A very nice one. With great big tall ceilings and beautiful couches, a brand new TV, a beautiful dining set, and a gorgeous kitchen I love to cook in. But my duties - my home, are down here. The laundry, the cleaning, the shower, the school work, the computer, my desk. My duties. Me. After months and months of lamenting that my boys went upstairs the minute they woke up til' pretty much the minute they went back to sleep I realized something. Because they do that I really feel separated, I don't feel complete with my family like we used to be. Because I am not with my boys all day every day like I used to be.

In our old home we had a one story. Our bedroom was right off the living room, as was their's just down a short hallway. The dining area and kitchen was just off the living room. The living room was our central location and we watched movies there, played games there, ran around in silly tag fashion, took naps on the couch there, pretty much ran our lives there. And I've missed that. All because of a single piece of furniture. A place where the kids can sit and have toys at their eye level to design and create. A "tunnel" created by going underneath. A space to write or draw. All for the sake of "having more space to run", which was my reasoning when I couldn't find the appropriate piece of furniture I wanted.

Last night we went to Pier 1 and got this and this. They are not what I had originally wanted but they match my loveseat and work together perfectly to create the sitting area I had once imagined.

Little Man has been playing for the last half hour by my side with his bag of plastic fishies - putting them on the table, underneath the table, around the table. And he has been by my side this whole time. Not upstairs. Not playing in the living area upstairs. By my side. And now he's asking me to play a game with him. I'm loving it.

A Step

0 Comments
We've been living in this house for 4 months now. October, November, December, January. We've had our space. The bottom two rooms are ours, each with their own bathroom, and ours with French doors opening out onto a large patio overlooking the harbor and the sea. My very first goal when I came here was to make it a home in the very sense of the word - comfortable, and relaxing. And I succeeded in the furnishing department. There was one thing I didn't complete. That was the coffee table for the loveseat in the sitting area I created in our bedroom.

We do have a living room upstairs. A very nice one. With great big tall ceilings and beautiful couches, a brand new TV, a beautiful dining set, and a gorgeous kitchen I love to cook in. But my duties - my home, are down here. The laundry, the cleaning, the shower, the school work, the computer, my desk. My duties. Me. After months and months of lamenting that my boys went upstairs the minute they woke up til' pretty much the minute they went back to sleep I realized something. Because they do that I really feel separated, I don't feel complete with my family like we used to be. Because I am not with my boys all day every day like I used to be.

In our old home we had a one story. Our bedroom was right off the living room, as was their's just down a short hallway. The dining area and kitchen was just off the living room. The living room was our central location and we watched movies there, played games there, ran around in silly tag fashion, took naps on the couch there, pretty much ran our lives there. And I've missed that. All because of a single piece of furniture. A place where the kids can sit and have toys at their eye level to design and create. A "tunnel" created by going underneath. A space to write or draw. All for the sake of "having more space to run", which was my reasoning when I couldn't find the appropriate piece of furniture I wanted.

Last night we went to Pier 1 and got this and this. They are not what I had originally wanted but they match my loveseat and work together perfectly to create the sitting area I had once imagined.

Little Man has been playing for the last half hour by my side with his bag of plastic fishies - putting them on the table, underneath the table, around the table. And he has been by my side this whole time. Not upstairs. Not playing in the living area upstairs. By my side. And now he's asking me to play a game with him. I'm loving it.

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